Double
by DancingStar01
Summary: A Starfleet emergency signal leads the Voyager to a planet. What the crew finds there, makes Kathryn Janeway thinking...


Title: Double

Author: Dancing Star  
Pairing: Janeway / Chakotay  
Rating: 16  
Category: AU, Romance  
Spoiler: Decisions  
What happens: A Starfleet emergency signal leads the Voyager to a planet. What the crew finds there makes Kathryn Janeway thinking.  
Notes: Actually, I love the sci-fi genre: Everything´s possible.

**Double**

Kathryn Janeway leaned back in her command chair and wondered when the Voyager would finally pass through a busier space area. For weeks, the sensors hadn´t recorded major incidents.  
She was bored. Those days were the worst. Kathryn Janeway was a researcher, she loved the adventure. That there was nothing to explore was like a nightmare for her.  
A movement from the corner of her eye made her lifting her head and she saw how Chakotay sat down his seat next to her left. Then he apologized to her he came five minutes too late to his shift. "No problem, Commander," she said, "As you see, you see anything... Mr. Kim, report."  
"We have just passed a gas planet and will fly by at a Class M planet in about an hour...", Harry was interrupted by a beeping sound, which was caused by the long-range scans.  
"Mr. Kim?", The captain looked at the ensign questioningly.  
"I received an emergency signal. It comes from the Class M planet...", Harry replied, "Captain, it has a Starfleet signature."  
Kathryn rose from her chair and Chakotay did the same. "Can you decipher the emergency signal?"  
Harry nodded hastily. "It´s an audio transmission."  
"Play it," Chakotay said, Harry's fingers flitted over the input surface and the next moment a scratching sound came through the line. "This is Captain Kathryn Janeway, Federation… Voyager," a very familiar voice said, which was often interrupted by another scratching, "We... Crash... Ask for help at the following coordinates...", After the captain had called the coordinates, the signal ended and in her head Kathryn Janeway wondered if she had ever sent this emergency signal. She didn´t know the coordinates. Yet she wanted to find out what was going on at the planet only an hour away from them.  
"Tom, set a course for the coordinates." She and Chakotay sat back in their command chairs.  
"Aye, Captain."

The time until they reached the planet passed by more slowly than usual. At least Kathryn believed that. The closer they came to the planet, the more restless she became. She didn´t know why, but she knew there was something important on this planet.  
"We are within reach, Captain," Tuvok said and the planet appeared on the screen. The planet was green and it obviously had its own atmosphere: From up here, Kathryn believed to be able to see clouds.  
"Were you able to find the origin of the Starfleet signal?," she turned around to Harry Kim.  
"I located the signal in the vicinity of the equator... There are about 150 signs of life on the planet."  
"This corresponds to about the team's number of our crew," the Commander said softly to her when she was standing next to him in the center of the bridge. "Answer the emergency signal", Chakotay pointed to Tuvok but no one on the planet replied.  
"We'll see what´s going on there," Kathryn said. She wanted to know why a Starfleet emergency signal came from this planet. And first and foremost, she wanted to find out why the transmission sounded like her own voice.

The planet was actually a green paradise. Scans showed that the planet had a stable environment and a fertile flora and fauna, as suspected. The planet was located close enough to a sun, so there were just warm seasons, like Harry Kim had found out.  
A cool wind moved the leaves on the trees and after their transport operations were completed, Kathryn scanned the area with her tricorder. "I'm picking up signs of life from this direction," she pointed to the south and together with her external team, Commander Chakotay, Tom Paris, Neelix and the Doctor, she set off. At the thought of what she could possibly find she noticed an unpleasant feeling in her stomach: Maybe it was some other Starfleet spaceship that got lost in the Delta Quadrant and possibly crashed here. But this didn´t explain why the voice in the emergency signal sounded like her own.  
They were about five minutes on foot, when they reached a small colony. "Stop there," a voice said to them and when they turned around, they saw Crewman Flannery. He wasn´t dressed in his Starfleet uniform, but was wearing unusual private clothes. The crewman dropped the gun when he realized who was standing in front of him. "What are you doing out here?", he asked.  
"The same thing we might ask you, Crewman," Tom Paris warned him.  
"We should go back to the colony. It will be dark soon." With that, they entered the colony. The captain and her team recognized their crew members in the residents, who should be on board of the spaceship in this moment.  
"What's going on here?," another voice asked and Kathryn recognized it immediately: It was the voice of the emergency signal - her own.

"Who are you?", Kathryn asked. She was far from being a captain, but she still thought it was her duty to protect her crew and therefore the inhabitants of this colony.  
"The question is, who are you," the Captain began. She wondered how it was possible that the woman didn´t only sound like her but also looked like her. She wore a blue dress, which she clearly identified as one of her own clothes. She hadn´t seen this for a long time. The last time she saw the dress was when she and Chakotay were on a planet and...  
"I'm Kathryn Janeway."  
"That's impossible. I'm Kathryn Janeway. Your emergency signal brought us here... What is this? Is this a trap? ", she asked and she could see how the face of the other Kathryn relaxed a little. "I promise you, this is not a trap...," she said.  
"Perhaps you came from a crack in the space-time continuum," Harry Kim suggested, who also wore private clothing.  
Kathryn Janeway nodded. She would ask Harry if that was possible, as soon as they were back on Voyager.

After she returned to her ship yesterday, she wanted to bring a larger external team to the planet the next morning. Harry had found out that there are actually was a tear in the space-time continuum close to this planet. Perhaps this was a parallel world.  
"This is a very nice colony, Captain," Neelix chuckled and Kathryn thanked him for the compliment. Janeway sent the Talaxians and Commander Chakotay away who wanted to see the colony. Chakotay, who lived on the planet, was happy to do this. He sent the visitors ahead, however, and remained behind when he saw how Kathryn came to him. When she was with him, he put his arms around her shoulders and kissed her temple.  
Seeing the two like this caused an unpleasant feeling in the Captain. She was remembered to what she now could have if she only allowed. Finally, she saw how Kathryn let her husband go and came back to her.  
"After our conversation yesterday, I had no chance to ask, you if you want to see our colony."  
"That would be very nice, Captain. I want to know everything about the colony."  
"Please don´t call me like that," Kathryn asked, "I´m not a captain." They went ahead and Captain Janeway assumed she should follow her.  
Today was a sunny day and that´s why the two women walked down a small road. The colony was well maintained and looked very modern. The sun shone down from heaven and Kathryn seemed to be very surprised when three children came in their direction.  
"There are children?", the Captain asked when the group of three playing girls hurried past them.  
"Now that we are stranded here, we accepted this would be our new home... Oh, I know this must sound terrible for you," Kathryn said, "Of course there were already children on board when Voyager still existed. But when we were stranded here, several crew members stared families. The oldest children, who were born in this colony, are about three months old."  
They looked very similar, apart from the fact that the other Kathryn wore a dress and had her long hair tied into a beautiful braid. "Isn´t that inconvenient?", Captain Janeway asked, but Kathryn smiled.  
"No. My husband likes it that way, "she remembered, how he had stopped her when she wanted to arrange her hair in an updo when they were on "their planet " New Earth once. "Don´t do this," he murmured, leaning towards her, "If you´re wearing your hair down, you look a lot prettier." Back then she didn´t know how to react to such compliments. But now she knew.  
"How long has the crew been living here?"  
"About a year," Kathryn replied, "It will be to the day one year ago, when Voyager is crashed here."  
"How is that possible?", the Captain asked, "The Voyager is an advanced space ship and..."  
"A virus," Kathryn finally said, "Two days before all systems broke down, we docked at a space station and when we left it, everything seemed to be fine. Then we got problems and we were lucky it was possible to make an emergency landing on the planet. The ship was irreparably damaged after the crash without auxiliary systems, but B'Elanna noted in a study that all gel packs were infected with a virus. That was the reason... ", she suspected the other Voyager never visited this space station.  
"I won´t blame you, but why didn´t you try to repair the ship?" the captain asked.  
"Do you think we haven´t tried?", Kathryn wanted to know from her, but then she decided to calm down.  
They reached a small house at the end of a road. The house was a former Starfleet residential container like many of the housing units in the colony. The container was surrounded by a garden and a narrow gravel road led to the front door. Right and left of the container, additions of solid wood were built.  
"I live here," Kathryn told.  
"You and Chakotay," the captain corrected in thought, when Kathryn opened the door. The interior of the house no longer looked like Starfleet standards: the uncomfortable furniture had been replaced with wooden furniture. Some photos were hanging on the walls: There were photos of three children. The edge of some images was burnt but the photos still stuck in a picture frame. Kathryn Janeway needed clarity: "You have children?," she finally said and the other Kathryn was nodding.  
"Three daughters."  
Kathryn had always thought she was dept to her crew as captain of a spaceship to live without a partner, a relationship. She had already accepted she would never have a family. To see her live also could have been different and that her crew would have certainly accepted the situation, mad her think. She wondered why she had done everything wrong.  
She broke away from the photos and watched Kathryn, who now sat down next to her on the couch with a dark haired girl on her lap.  
"How... How did it happen?", the Captain felt almost a little uncomfortable when she asked this question to her counterpart but the other Kathryn didn´t mind.  
"Selena happened on New Earth," she told, "After Chakotay and I had defined our parameters, as I called it, he kissed me that night. I told him it was going too fast and begged him to give me time. The next day we met each other accidently while swimming. We didn´t want to swim together and he apologized for that mistake, when I stood in my scanty swimwear at the water pond. He pulled me close and kissed me. I don´t know, I just... I couldn´t resist him, so I admitted to lay me down on the grass and you probably know the rest…", a smile crossed Kathryn's face and with a smooth motion she threw her long hair back over her shoulder. She found she didn´t need to tell Kathryn from a different time line how nice it was to be loved by him so passionately, or how she screamed with pleasure when their body´s became one for the first time. That was something private. "Three month later I found out I was pregnant and we were very happy," she continued, "Another two months later Voyager came back. The crew had found a cure for the disease, from which we were suffering", Kathryn now looked lovingly at the little dark-haired girl who sat on her lap and played.  
Captain Janeway had the feeling she should say something now. "Your daughter looks a lot like your husband," she finally said.  
"That's exactly what Mommy wants to hear, right?", Kathryn wanted to know from her daughter, irony swung in her voice, but then she continued her story, "We didn´t spent our first night back on the ship together. When we met the next morning at the mess hall, I was waiting for a table. Chakotay was talking to Tuvok, Tom and Harry and suddenly he told them he wanted to wish his wife a good morning. The three looked very confused when Chakotay came to me, kissed me and I didn´t stop him. In addition I had missed him too much... Anyway, the crew didn´t seem to be surprised: Tuvok told us he thought it was normal that Chakotay and I started a relationship in these circumstances. Still in the mess hall we told the crew we are expecting a baby... I've never regretted this all for a second and I realized my concern, the crew couldn´t accept this change was completely unfounded... When Selena was one year old, I realized I was pregnant again. The twins were born about one month before our crash."  
"I can imagine this all is stealing your time."  
"If I had to choose between my post and my family, then... Well, you see what has become of Voyager. The decision was made for me when we crashed on this planet and the ship was beyond repair but I can´t live without my family." She still remembered how scarred she was when she and her husband were looking for Selena and the twins in the smoke crowded corridors of Voyager after the crash. The photos on the wall were some of the personal things she had rescued from the spaceship. They used the rest of Voyager so the colony could be built after the devastating crash.  
They both nodded and then the other Kathryn asked: "What about you? Do you have children?" If she counted correctly, Kathryn and Chakotay had also been on New Earth.  
"No, we... We don´t have children... "  
"I see. Do you regret?"  
"Sometimes... Uhm, often."  
"Why don´t you do something?," the other Kathryn asked, "He loves you very much, I can see that." She didn´t only imagine this just because of Chakotay from her time line also loved her.  
Kathryn Janeway now rose from the couch on which she was sitting and went to one of the glass doors which led out into the garden. She saw the two Chakotays were also talking to each other outside. Obviously the- living- here Chakotay had the same thoughts like his wife. What were they talking about?  
"What if you're wrong?," she turned around and looked at Kathryn with a stone-faced expression, "What, if the crew won´t accept this?"  
"They will accept, I already told you," with her daughter in her arms, the other Kathryn got up, too. She was relieved when a door opened and her husband entered the house. He immediately saw in her face something was wrong. "What happened?," he wanted to know and his wife acknowledged his question with a harmless: "Nothing."

In the evening, as darkness was already on the planet, Kathryn stared into the mirror before she brushed her long hair. Her husband entered the bathroom and placed a kiss on her neck. He was surprised when she didn´t react. "Won´t you tell me what happened?", he asked and loosened his embrace a little, "Since we have met our counterparts from another time line, you're acting very strange."  
"They are different like us..."  
"This was to be expected after they come from a different time line."  
"They don´t have children and they aren´t a couple."  
"Yes, he told me."  
"I couldn´t live a day without you and the kids", Kathryn knew it sounded very sentimental, but it was expressing what she felt. "And I know she's doing the same: She loves him, but she doesn´t dare to tell him." She was relieved he was here with her in that moment.  
"Maybe they need a little help," she suggested and suddenly felt how he pushed her a few inches away from him. "You won´t interfere, will you? That´s the prime directive."  
"Saying this is usually my part," she complained, "I don´t know what to do...", she was now completely away from him and went into the bedroom. She turned on the light and saw he was following her.  
"Maybe I can help you," he said to her, remained in the doorway, watching how she cleared a few pillows from their bed.  
"Will you tell me?"

"Let's exchange your lives", Kathryn suggested when the Captain visited her the next day again.  
"Are you sure?", Janeway thought she had misheard.  
"Of course. Maybe this will help you to understand you have to tell him about your feelings."  
"Yes. Maybe."  
"We are going to exchange tomorrow. You can have the whole weekend with my family. Meanwhile, I´ll stay on Voyager", Kathryn suggested. She really should have no problem with behaving like a captain.  
"Second! You leave me alone with your family?"  
"My children are very well behaved and won´t cause any problems. My husband won´t even notice", she noted that the captain hesitated, "A little variety won´t hurt you. As far as I know you´re not having free time very often. You are what the children in the colony call as a bore."  
"Well, I..."  
"I am you, remember? Before my life has changed, I sat in my quarters many nights and was wondering how it would be with him."  
"How do you know...?", The captain noticed how her face blushed.  
"I'm you. I said that... So what do you say?"

"We should exchange?", Chakotay asked and was trying not to stare too incredulously at his opponent. He was pleased that Chakotay visited him on Voyager, but he hadn´t expected such an idea.  
"Why not? You could spend time with Kathryn and maybe you get an idea, how you can win your Captain´s heart."  
"That would never work," Chakotay leaned back in his chair.  
"The two are very similar. More than you think." Chakotay smiled to himself when he realized that his opponent at least thought about it. But finally the commander said: "Don´t you mind if I stay with your wife and kids?"  
"You are me. I am you. I don´t mind." They were silent for a second. "Let me know if you've thought about," he got up and started for the door, as the Commander consented, "All right. But... What if your wife notices the exchange?"  
"She won´t," Chakotay went back to the desk and sat down in a chair, "No one will notice." He was relieved the Commander would never find out why. How should he notice the exchange, if Kathryn was replaced too?

"She even gave me her wedding ring", Captain Janeway wondered on Saturday morning and looked at the ring of coral on her hand. According to Kathryn Chakotay had given her the self-made ring on their last night on New Earth when he asked her if she wanted to become his wife. She just hoped no one would ever notice the exchange. Why was she here? Why Kathryn had suggested this exchange? But not in order to do her a favor?  
A crying baby startled her from her thoughts and she hurried to get to the crib, where the twins were. The two were named Lia and Laana. Kathryn had even told her how she could discern the twins: Lia was the elder of the babies and had a small mole under her black hair. She noticed how soft Lia´s hair was when she comfortingly stroked the child's head. Selena didn´t only look like her father: Kathryn Janeway noted that her children looked much more like the Commander. A strange feeling spread through her stomach and she knew exactly what it was: She regretted this wasn´t her own live. Of course, she could do without the crash, but these three kids were everything she ever wanted. Selena had demanded for her attention this morning after getting up and the way how the little girl cried for her mommy and reached out for her with beaming eyes when she saw her, tore Kathryns heart. It was exactly what she had always wanted. But after getting lost in Delta Quadrant, she had stopped hoping. The other Kathryn had made the right decisions and she couldn´t even be angry: A few days longer on New Earth and she couldn´t have resist Chakotay. They might got married and had children, too.  
Kathryn was very careful when she took the crying child out of its crib and swayed the girl gently back and forth. She didn´t have much experience with babies and even though the other Kathryn had told what she had to do if one of the kids was crying it was difficult. Lia and Laana were curious children who crawled through the house when they were not sleeping. When they cried, it was extremely difficult for Kathryn to find out the reason why, so she was going to the exclusion principle. Selena eased her a lot, because as a nearly three-year-old child she was able to speak a few sentences and run.  
Handling the kids so bad could be fatal, she thought: Kathryn was afraid, but she was relieved when the evening came and the children were sleeping. Chakotay hadn´t noticed anything throughout the day but flattered her with little compliments and once he even held her hand. In a way she was even glad, when they were finally alone. At least until her friends came: The other Kathryn had warned today was the weekly dinner of the former bridge crew. They took turns with its orientation. This week it was Kathryn and Chakotay's turn.  
And she saw Chakotay was already busy preparing. She came to him and wanted to help. "It´s been a beautiful day," she began and he nodded.  
This was his chance to find out how she felt about the Captain and the Commander on Voyager, about him. Therefore, he expressed an apparently trivial observation: "The commander told me he and the captain aren´t married and they don´t have children."  
"Yes, I know," she admitted with a sigh.  
"What do you think?"  
"That's sad. Very sad... I can´t imagine a day without you", she smiled and turned to leave when he grabbed her wrist and held her tight. His hands were on her back and their faces were only inches apart, when Chakotay leaned towards her and kissed her. She was still too surprised to respond and she enjoyed their first kiss. The moment was overwhelming and incredibly sweet. His left hand went down her cheek tenderly, as if he wanted to pull her closer. Kathryn sighed in disappointment when there was a knock at the door. This had to be their friends.  
Before Chakotay went to let them in he kissed her again. He didn´t see with what puzzled expression Kathryn was left then, while he let Tom, B'Elanna, Harry, Tuvok, Neelix and the Doctor in their house.  
They came for dinner. The holographic doctor came mainly because of the good conversations. After they had eaten the main course, Kathryn walked into the small kitchen of the house to get new drinks. She started when Chakotay suddenly stood in the doorway and offered to help. She gratefully accepted.  
"They told me they have already passed through a region in which no stars, planets and actually nothing were. It was always dark", they heard Tom saying.  
"Sounds pretty boring, don´t you think?", Kathryn wanted to know. Of course she remembered very well how awful it was when there was nothing to do for month and she retired to her quarters.  
"I don´t think it´s boring," Chakotay said to her, then leaned to her so he almost touched her ear, "I have an idea what I'd do with you in this time."  
Just the idea of her and him in her quarters sent goosebumps through her body. She wondered if he thought about the same way of sweeten her this long night.  
"I would never do that," she said this with a mysterious smile, "I told you a captain can´t afford the luxury of having a lover."  
She really had told him this once. "Luckily I´m not only your lover anymore." He looked at his friends and saw they were still talking. So there was no reason why he shouldn´t kiss her now. This kiss was as sweet as the one they had shared before the arrival of thier friends. Kathryn somehow sensed how this night would end and she would do everything to prevent that. She wasn´t really his wife. Before their kiss was more intimate, she withdrew.  
"We should be with our friends," Kathryn said and she was relieved when Chakotay nodded.

The Captain and the Commander agreed to meet for dinner in the evening and Chakotay told his wife how much he had missed her today, as soon as the doors to her quarters were closed behind him. Commanding Voyager also proved to be more difficult than he had remembered. Maybe he was a little out of practice. "I've missed you too much," Kathryn agreed, "It´s terrible, I can´t show you how much."  
While he listened to her, he sat down on her couch. He wondered why the table wasn´t prepared if they had a dinner- date.  
"But you know what's worse?", she asked then and remained in the doorway to her bathroom, only wearing a bathrobe, "It´s really worse I have to spend the night without you." She undid the belt of her robe before he got up and she fell into his arms. Maybe, she thought, they could spend the night together without coursing rumors on the ship.

"Thank you for the nice evening!," B'Elanna called goodbye as she and Tom were the last to leave the little house in the colony. Kathryn waved goodbye again before she closed the door and then leaned against it. She had no idea she was such a good actress, even if she could convince her long-time friends from being someone else. Then she set out to collect the glasses which were still on the table. The kitchen unit took care about the cleaning process.  
She was startled when suddenly two arms wrapped around her and someone began to kiss her neck. Kathryn chuckled, although she didn´t want to. She gave Chakotay a kick with her left elbow and he winced. "Stop it," Kathryn admonished him and turned around. A mistake, how she later thought because he took the opportunity to take all of the glasses out of her hand and began kissing her again. "Resistance is futile, love," he murmured when his hands glided over the back of her body and an almost cheeky grin slipped on her face before they reunited for a passionate kiss.  
He picked her up and Kathryn only noticed they had ended up in their bedroom when he laid her down on the bed and kissed her again. Resisting him was really hopeless.

She was a little shaky and trembling when Kathryn was trying to sleep in Chakotay's arms and he kissed the spot below her ear. Kathryn closed her eyes and put her hands on his which drew small circles on her skin. It felt so good to be here in his arms. She loved him for allowing her to feel like a woman. But there was a different feeling. The Feeling it was right. Yet something else nagged at her conscience: She said to herself she didn´t deserve Kathryn's confidence when she used the exchange for a love affair with the man she wanted for years. She wondered how long she should stay in the orbit of this planet and if she should ask the residents of the colony if they wanted to come with them. Kathryn wanted to get up, but Chakotay held her and asked her where she wanted to go. Kathryn asked herself the same question. If she´d leave him now he probably noticed the exchange. So she decided to stay.  
She awoke the next morning, when the sun already shone through the window. She could feel how someone sat down on the mattress of her bed. Chakotay sat next to her with a cup of coffee. "Good morning," he murmured, handing her a cup and now his free hand ran through her tousled hair.  
"Good morning," she said, taking a sip. The coffee was black. He knew her really well. Inside and outside. She chuckled about the double meaning which had been given to this saying last night.  
"What are we doing today?", he asked. Today was Sunday and the other Chakotay had told him this day he belonged to his family.  
"I don´t know," she dropped her coffee cup, while still in bed only covered by a blanket. "I have no plans for today."  
"Perfect," he smiled and kissed her again before he got up.  
They spent the day with the children on the lake, which was located within the colony. Despite the warm climate of the planet, the water was too cold for swimming.  
In the evening, when the children were in bed, Kathryn and Chakotay loved each other passionately and wild once more. Kathryn almost felt as if she wanted to capture this moment forever and her heart was heavy when he softly whispered to her then how much he loved her. Knowing, this was meant for a different woman.

They "undid" the exchange in the next morning. Kathryn thought it was a shame she couldn´t spend more time on the planet. The more she thought about this the more she caught herself watching commander Chakotay during his work and of course he noticed.  
"Kathryn, are you okay?", he wanted to know and leaned towards her. She nodded suddenly. Did he catch her? She just hoped he didn´t notice she missed his presence. This exchange was a stupid idea, she thought to herself. But she knew what she wanted.  
Chakotay smiled when he saw she was wearing her hair also down now. And when they sat on their command chairs, he saw why. She tried to hide a purple spot on her neck. The realization of what that had to mean caused nervousness in him. So she had been with him on this planet.  
A little later she went to her ready room and he got up in a hurry. He left the bridge to Tuvok, when he followed her to her ready room.  
Kathryn was surprised. "Anything I can do for you, Commander?", she asked, trying to avoid the shaking in her voice. He had stopped in front of her and his nearness made her nervous. She only had to lean towards him then she could have kissed him.  
"The crew wonders how long we stay in orbit," he began.  
"We... We... So, I haven´t thought about this," she frankly admitted. Kathryn caught herself, as she stared at him again and he finally took her decision and put his lips on hers. She didn´t resist at all, but placed her hands around his waist and kissed him back. What happened here? What did he do to her?  
When she began to enjoy his kisses and caresses, he pushed her away. Of course he enjoyed it too, that it felt like what they had done on the planet.  
Chakotay saw how she looked at him scared. "Commander, I apologize. I...", she touched her lips," I don´t know what got into me."  
"It's all right. I shouldn´t have started ", that wasn´t even a lie even, "Well, we should continue later."  
"What?," she looked at him confused.  
"My shift is over at 5 p.m. I'll see you in my quarters", he suggested and kissed her again lovingly. Then he finally became detached from her.  
"Aye, Commander," she murmured and held her breath as he looked her straight in the eye. He then left her ready room. "And no uniform tonight," he said before he really left.

The hours until the evening passed by slowly and their cat-and-mouse game amused him more and more: Kathryn avoided looking him in the eye and she noticed how she blushed when she watched him. Once they simultaneously reached for the console between their seats and she winced as her fingers touched. Chakotay was sure no one had noticed so he held her hand a second longer than necessary.  
The closer the evening came, the more nervous she was, she could hardly focus on Neelix's reports about the colony and finally Kathryn left the bridge at 4 p.m.  
Chakotay left the bridge an hour later and went to her quarters. He was excited about what was to follow. If he couldn´t convince her they didn´t do something wrong, he never had a chance. Inwardly, he was prepared to be send back to his own quarters. She had rejected his advances so many times. On this planet he could fully enjoy the benefits of their potential relationship. It seemed to be wrong until he found out she was the one he had loved every night. On occasion he had to thank Kathryn and Chakotay, who lived on the planet, for this great idea. He just hoped that Kathryn was missing what she could have, as painful as he did.  
Chakotay pressed the door buzzer and entered. Except for a few candles and the glow of the stars the room was dark. He held his breath when he saw her. She wore a white dress instead of her uniform and her long, bright red blond hair was plaited into a long braid, so he wouldn´t see the marks on her neck. He was more confident than ever.  
"You forgot changing clothes," she teased him because he was wearing his uniform.  
"You look very pretty, Kathryn," he said to her and she paused in her movement, as she wanted to go to the replicator. She shouldn´t have agreed to this dinner, she thought.  
"Dinner will be ready," she said and waited impatiently for the food in front of the replicator. She held her breath shocked when he suddenly appeared behind her, wrapped his arms around her and began to kiss her cheek. "That's why I'm here. I miss you, after what happened between us on this planet", he muttered into her ear and she closed her eyes for a moment, while a shiver ran through her body. She didn´t respond, so he added: "I think this weekend was a plan by Kathryn and Chakotay. On occasion I must thank you because the days with you were wonderful", he paused to kiss the spot under her ear," I love you."  
His hands slid down her arms to her hands and intertwined with her fingers. Kathryn turned to him and didn´t hesitate to kiss him. She noticed how he laid her down on her bed and even helped him to get rid of her dress. For a second she wondered if this wasn´t strange and she pushed the thought away.  
Hours later they both lay in bed side by side, her fingers were caressing his skin softly. Kathryn smiled blissfully when he grabbed her hand and held it. "You allow me a question?", he asked and she nodded, "Did you know I was with you on the planet?"  
"No," she admitted, "I had no idea." She pressed a kiss to his skin.  
"What will happen now?" He was almost a little worried when she sighed and started moving. "Let this be our little secret... We tell the crew when the time is right", she finally said and clung to him, "We urgently need to thank someone. "  
"I know. Later. "  
"Yes," she nodded, before he kissed her again and another round in their game began, "Later."

Fin


End file.
